1. When you fall asleep halfway through. Mortifying.
2. When you ask 100 questions, especially after sex. Please don’t ask, “How was that for you?” Not ever.
3. Going way over the top with noises – I once received a noise complaint, it’s thoroughly embarrassing.
4. When you go to the loo with the door open before or after sex – or worse, just as things are about to get going. So gross.
5. When you take it really personally when we can’t orgasm. Especially when you say, “Was it something I did?”
6. If, as soon as you take off your underwear, the room smells like a fish market – at that point it is my legal right to wind things up.
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